Don’t Defend…Change the Conversation
Think of tv shows where the defense lawyer follows the prosecutor’s arguments in the court room. Notice how seldom you see a direct defense of the points made by the prosecutor. Effective defense lawyers change the conversation so that the jury focuses on different points or sees things through different eyes.
My observation is that defending your position seldom works. It positions you immediately as having less power, simply because you are defending, even if you are completely in the right. It is much more powerful to switch the view of the situation differently, to pose questions that provoke different thinking, to selectively agree and offer new thoughts. Tit for tat seldom changes anyone’s position, it just further entrenches people on “their” side.